Cell Block Tango
by snheetah
Summary: "He had it coming, he had it coming all along. If had been there, if you had seen it I bet'cha you would have done the same" - Chicago... Crunch, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh, Chateaux, Bunny. TechxOC and Natalya


**I don't own Loonatics Unleashed, Natalya which is owned by BALTO1, or the song "Cell Block Tango" from Chicago**

**TechxOC**

* * *

"Heads up," a female voice said as she placed a manila folder onto the chestnut colored desk. "You have received your first case."

His eyes lifted up from the stack of paperwork and looked up at his cousin, Natalya Wolf. If it weren't for her, Tech E. Coyote wouldn't have this job. He had finished graduate school to become an inventor but to his dismay every invention that he produced went haywire. His cousin was generous enough to land him a job as a lawyer after he had switched careers and finished law school. It was a long road but he successfully achieved it.

_My first case _Tech thought as he picked up the folder into his hands. He carefully opened it and six pictures spilled onto his desk. He carefully held them as if they were a flock of injured birds and scanned through them. "Six convicted women?" Tech raised an eyebrow and looked up at his cousin.

Natalya nodded her head. "Yes but they have all chosen you as their lawyer."

Tech's eyes grew wide, "but why me? There are plenty of lawyers!"

Natalya shrugged her shoulders, "it's a serious case Tech and you are very smart too."

"That doesn't have to do with if they are guilty or not," Tech told her.

"Let the forensics and the judge take care of that business," Natalya told him with a wave of her hand, "this is your first case Tech! You should be excited!"

"I am," Tech calmly said _and a little frightened _he mentally added. However, if he were to help these six women he was going to whether they were guilty or not. "So when are we going to meet them?" he finally asked his cousin.

"At the Acmetropolis City McCook Jail," Natalya told him, "be prepared to meet these six married murderesses."

Tech's mouth suddenly went dry as he stared at his cousin in shock. "M-M-Murderesses?"

Natalya gave him a sympathetic look and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't fret Tech. I will be there by your side...along with a Tasmanian bodyguard that will be out the door so it will be less scary for the both of us."

Tech gulped. If any of these women were found guilty, would they want to seek revenge after him?

* * *

The next day, Tech fixed his collar and black tie and looked at himself in the mirror one last time. Just last night, he had ironed his gray colored pants, white shirt, gray jacket, and polished his boots to appear as if he was a professional lawyer and not the type who was just starting his first case. _It will be alright _he assured himself _you can do this_. He grabbed his chestnut colored briefcase and headed outside where Natalya was waiting for him in her black jag.

"Feeling good?" she asked him when Tech sat in the passenger's seat. Her outfit consisted of a white shirt, black jacket, black skirt, and black high heels.

Tech briefly nodded his head at her question. He was feeling more frightened at the thought of visiting a bunch of murderers. At the nod of his head, Natalya turned on the car's engine and they proceeded to the McCook Jail.

The road to the McCook jail was longer than Tech had anticipated. It took them a total of two hours to get there and by the time they arrived, it was already two in the afternoon.

"Let's get this show on the road," Natalya said after she parked the car in an empty slot. Tech's hand gripped on the handle of his briefcase and got out of the car.

_Let's do this_ he thought as he and Natalya approached the building. On the outside, the building was gray and made out of stone as if it was constructed during the medieval times. There were a couple of windows that were lined with steel bars to keep the prisoners from escaping. Tech couldn't wonder why these prisoners would try to escape in the first place. It was a long way down from the windows to land. Once they entered the building, Tech felt a wave of cool air gently caressing his face. In front of them was a police officer that sat down on a chair by his desk but behind him, Tech noticed infinite rows of cells.

"Hello," the police officer greeted them as he looked up. "How can I be of soivece?" he asked in his Brooklyn accent.

Natalya looked at Tech and gave him an encouraging nod of her head. Tech stepped forward and looked at the officer's name tag. 'Ace Bunny' it read. "We-I am here for the six convicted women," Tech explained and held out the six pictures towards the officer.

Ace took the pictures in his hands and looked through them. "Ah yes," he said, "yer gonna need a lotta back up on dis. A combination of agility, strength, and speed." He grabbed the phone on his desk and dialed a number. "Yo Rev, you, Lexi, an' Slam are needed for some backup. Take dose six murderesses at interrogation room #444." He then placed the phone back on the receiver and looked back at Tech and Natalya, "they will be there shortly. In the meantime, I will escort you to the interrogation room."

_I am going to torture them_? Tech though as a bead of sweat slipped down the side of his face. He collected a sigh of relief when he only saw a desk with two chairs and a dim light bulb hanging over the desk.

"Here ya are," Ace said, "make yersevles at home," and with that he shut the door behind him.

Tech let out a puff of breath, placed his briefcase on the table and filed through the contents. He placed the six manila folders on the table and locked his briefcase and placed it on the floor beside his chair.

Natalya sensed her cousin's fear. She approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You will do fine Tech. Just take a deep breath and it will be over before you know it."

At that moment, the doorknob turned and the coyote and wolf looked up. A female officer walked in the room. "Tech E. Coyote?" she asked.

"That's me," Tech answered in a shaky voice.

The officer nodded and held out her hand. "Lexi Bunny," she shook his hand, "me, Slam, and Rev will be out the door if anything goes amiss."

Tech nodded to her.

"And now, the six married murderesses of the McCook Jail," she called at the door and a convicted woman walked inside.

Tech looked at the woman from head to toe. She was a female brown rabbit with brown hair and fur. He noticed that her eyes were wide open, her handcuffed hands grinded against one another, and her lower lip trembled.

"Showtime," Natalya whispered to Tech, "I will be in the corner of the room if you need me," she said and she disappeared into the corner and left Tech there with the troubled rabbit.

After taking their seats, Tech let out a sigh and picked up the first folder. He opened it and read it's contents. "So you are Andrea Bunny," he said and looked up at her, "and you are convicted for killing you husband."

The rabbit, Andrea Bunny cleared the back of her throat when he said this.

"Now I want you to tell me everything," Tech folded his hands on the paperwork and looked at her.

Andrea chuckled and placed her handcuffed hands on the table. "You know how some people have these habits that get you down?"

_Is that a trick question_? Tech thought.

"Like Shawn," her eyes shined when she mentioned her dead husband's name.

Tech looked down at the paperwork and saw the victim's name. Shawn Bunny.

"A-And what did he do?" Tech asked her.

"Shawn liked to chew carrots," Andrea continued, "no not chew...CRUNCH!"

Tech jumped in his seat when she yelled the word.

"So I came home this one day and I'm really irritated and looking for a little bit of sympathy and there's Shawn layin' on the couch, drikin' some carrot juice and chewin'...no not chewin'..."

Tech cringed before she could say it.

"Crunchin'!" she slammed her hands on the table while Natalya looked at her and then at her panicked cousin. "So I said to him, I said 'you crunch that carrot one more time,'" she stopped and let out a disappointed sigh, "and he did. So I took the shotgun off the table and fired two warning shots...into his head!"

_My, my, my _Tech thought. What was a shotgun doing in their house in the first place? Unless they were gun collectors or something.

"The bastard had it coming but I didn't do it," Andrea continued as she slowly raised herself from the chair and towered over Tech. Her eyes grew wide and Tech swore that he saw a manic grin lingering over her lips.

"I-I don't have any evidence yet but we will take it to court," he told her.

Her smile disappeared and she gritted her teeth. "Oh yeah, you's better take it to court!" she yelled. At her outburst, the door flew and Slam walked inside. He picked up the hysterical rabbit, threw her over his shoulder and carried her out of the room. "And I better come out innocent!" she continued to shriek.

Tech pulled out a white handkerchief from his jacket pocket and wiped the sweat that was beginning to form on his forehead. Were all these women crazy? He took a deep breath and awaited for the next prisoner to arrive. The door opened and a female roadrunner walked into the room. _Great _Tech thought and mentally rolled his eyes. Due to his previous encounters with roadrunners, they had the tendency to talk very fast.

When she sat down, Tech looked through her personal information. "So Michelle Runner," he folded his hands on the table, "convicted for killing your husband."

"I didn't do it," Michelle spoke in a sing-song voice. She looked down at her nails and then at Tech, "I know what I didn't do."

Tech was relieved that she spoke in normal speed. "Then what happened?" he urged her to continue.

Michelle took a deep breath and spoke, "I met John Runner from New Orleans about two years ago. He told me he was single and we hit it off right away," she finished with a chuckle.

Tech nodded his head at her and let her continue with her story.

"So we started living together. He's go to work, come home. I'd fix him a drink and we'd have dinner together." Then her smile faltered and her eyes took a dark shade of color. "Then I found out."

_Uh-oh brace yourself Tech_ the coyote thought as he leaned back in his chair.

"Single he told me. Single my tail!" she spoke through gritted teeth. "Not only was he married, oh no," she shook her head, "he had six wives. One of those Mormons," she added with a shrug of her shoulder. "So that night when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual."

_I don't like where this is going_ Tech thought.

"You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic," she finished and banged her fists on the table.

Tech jumped in his seat and quickly said, "okay thank you," he said and the roadrunner was escorted out of the room. "That was easier than I thought," he whispered. He had expected for her to scream and shout just like the last one had done.

"Just relax, you are doing great," Natalya told him.

The third prisoner was a female mallard with dark feathers. Tech picked up the third manila folder and read her information. "Miranda Duck," he said once she sat down across the table, "killing your husband with a carving knife."

Miranda leaned forward and didn't wait for Tech to ask. "Now I'm standing in the kitchen carving the chicken for dinner minding my own business. In storms my husband Mike Duck in a jealous rage."

Tech mentally shook his head.

"'You've been screwin' Danger Duck' he says," Miranda told him, "he was crazy and he kept on screamin' 'you've been screawin' Danger Duck!'" she paused and gave Tech a dark look, "and then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times."

Tech gawked at her. "Danger Duck?" he repeated the name.

"Oh he was our neighbor," Miranda said but Tech noticed a smile on her lips indicating that she had been with this Danger Duck for intimate purposes and that she really did kill her husband. "Thank you, I will take it to court."

After Miranda left, a human female entered. She had black hair streaked with white color and she held a crumpled tissue into her hands. "Fleur Pussycat," Tech said after she sat down, "you were convicted for beheading you husband?!" Tech's eye popped out of their sockets as he looked up at the girl.

Fleur shook her head. "Moi? Que je fais ici? Mon mari Michael était violent et j'ai essaye de s'échapper. Je suis rentrée un jour et je l'ai trouve allonge sur le sol avec la tête coupée. J'ai ete choque! Je ne sais pas pourquoi les gens pensaient que je l'ai fait! Then she began to cry and hid her face behind the crumpled tissue.

Tech started at her with a confused look on his face. _What did she even say_? he thought.

"Yeah but did you do it?" he turned his head and looked at Natalya who had asked the question.

Fleur looked up at the wolf, "uh-uh," she shook her head, "not guilty!"

_Oh now she speaks English_ Tech thought. "I will take it to court," he mumbled and the convicted French girl was slowly taken away by Lexi Bunny. Once she was gone, Tech whipped around and looked at his cousin. "What the heck did she even say?"

"She said that she had no idea what she was doing here. Her husband was abusive and she tried to escape but when she arrived home she found his body on the floor with his head cut off," Natalya explained, "you should have minored in French."

"My God," Tech commented at the horror story and opened the fifth manila folder. He read the contents and waited for the fifth convicted woman to walk into the room.

The next prisoner was a female wolf. She took her seat in front of Tech and waited for him to speak. Tech looked up from the paperwork and was immediately at a loss of words when he saw the wolf in front of him. "Q-Quinn W-Wolf," he stuttered and looked down at his paperwork, "convicted for-"

Quinn rolled her eyes and interrupted him. "For killing my sister and my husband. That's what the media says but that's not what I say."

Tech let out a sigh. Here was another woman who was going to deny her actions. "Well then," he gently spoke, "tell me what happened."

"My sister Luna Wolf and I had this double act and my husband Canis Wolf traveled along with us. We did twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, back flips, flip-flops, one right after the other."

"Go on," Tech said.

"This one night after the show, we were down at the hotel Chateaux. The three of us boozing and having a few laughs. Then we ran out of ice so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door and there is Luna and Canis doing number thirty...the moon howler!"

_Please tell me that's an acrobatic trick_ Tech thought.

"Well I was in a state of shock I completely black out. I couldn't remember a thing. It wasn't until later when I was washing to blood off my paws I even knew they were dead."

_Dear Lord _Tech thought when she finished her story. _First of all, I don't blame her that she acted the way she did. Her unfaithful husband probably deserved it. Second, I am going to get Natalya for giving me this case _he thought.

Before he could speak, Quinn leaned closer to him. "You know that I am not guilty right?" she asked him.

Tech cleared his throat. He couldn't tell her what he thought. He needed the evidence!

"I can sense it Mr. Coyote," Quinn continued, "you believe that I am not guilty."

Before Tech could respond, a roadrunner zipped into the room and escorted Quinn out the door. As the sixth prisoner walked in the room, Tech quickly read through the profile. "So-what are you doing back here?" he asked when he saw Andrea Bunny standing in front of him.

"She-thinks-she's-another-person-now," the roadrunner, Rev, told him.

Tech looked at Rev and then at Andrea who had changed her appearance. Where she had found the time to curl her hair and put on make-up? He looked at his folder and back at the rabbit. It was her alright.

"Oh-and-she-is-Rosemary-Rabbit," Rev informed him before he flew out the door.

Andrea, or in this case Rosemary pulled the chair away from the table and sat down. "Alright Andr-Rosemary," Tech quickly corrected himself, "what happened on the night you killed your husband?"

Andrea/Rosemary placed a hand on her chest and stared fondly at the ceiling. "I loved Hunter Bunny more than I can possible say. He was a real artistic kind of guy, sensitive, a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night finding himself and on the way he found Jessica, Molly, Lola, and Roger."

Tech's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. So these six husbands that these women have had were either annoying, cheaters, jealous, and/or abusive.

"I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive...and I saw him dead!" Andrea/Rosemary finished.

Tech flew out of his chair before Andrea/Rosemary had the chance to smash her fists against the table. To his relief, Rev zipped in just in time and carried the dissociative identity disordered bunny out of the room. Tech closed the last folder, turned on his heel, and looked at Natalya. He held his index finger in the air but she grabbed it and held it down. "Somebody likes the acrobat," she said in a sing-song voice.

Tech was shocked at the fact that his cousin would even say that. "I do not," he snapped in his defense.

Natalya scoffed. "Come on Tech, I can read you like a book. You were stuttering before she opened her mouth."

_So what_? Tech thought but this was the least of his worries. Now he had take these women to court.

* * *

The days quickly flew by as the court dates were set for the six murderesses. Andrea/Rosemary were found guilty in both crimes. Her fingerprints were shown on both weapons that she used to murder Shawn and Hunter. She was sentenced to life. When the judge had sentenced her, Tech heard her shrieks echoing throughout the courtroom as she was being escorted away.

Michelle made her own confession and pleaded guilty which the jury had found out that she was in fact guilty of poisoning her husband. She was sentenced to ten years.

Miranda was proved guilty as well due to a dark feather that was found next to her husband and her fingertips on the carving knife. She was sentenced to ten years.

Fleur's trial was never held. Police officer Lexi Bunny had found her hanged in her prison cell before she went on trial due to the constant stress and hallucinations that she suffered when she found her abusive husband beheaded. In her case, she was not guilty. It turned out that a man who was obsessed with her had found out about her husband's mistreatment and carried out the deed. However, the criminal was never found.

Quinn Wolf's trial was last. Tech tried to dig up every single evidence about his client and prove that she was not guilty. He was not doing this because he was fond of her even though he had met her a couple of times before her trial took place. His instinct told him that she was not guilty.

During the final hours of the trial, Tech announced that according to the forensic evidence Quinn's fingerprints were different from the ones that were found on the weapon. The reason why blood was on her paws was because she had touched her sister's and husband's corpses to see if they were alive. It turned out that Canis and Luna were having an intimate moment in the balcony. There was lipstick on Canis's white collar and Luna was wearing red lipstick at that time. However, when Quinn arrived the figures that she saw at the balcony was her husband and the burglar on top of him. He had killed Quinn's sister and husband and escaped, framing Quinn as the culprit.

After the trial was over and Quinn was proven innocent, Tech rushed up to her. "Hey," he greeted her with a smile, "congratulations."

"If it wasn't for you, I would still be locked up in that cell," Quinn told him.

"My pleasure," Tech said, "I was wondering if you would like to go out for a cup of coffee or something. My treat."

Quinn was surprised but she smiled at his offer. "It's a date," she said with a wink, "pick me up at hotel Chateaux."

When she walked away, Tech smiled. Looks like Natalya was right. He did like the acrobatic wolf. Maybe they might just do the moon howler together in the near future.

* * *

**The End**

**And that concludes my Loonatics/OC series. Thank you so much to you guys for following the series, even though some parts might have turned out a****little cheesy. Finding a song for Tech and Quinn was a little challenging. I was thinking of "Guys what Takes his Time" or "Blood on the Dancefloor" but they just didn't seem to fit in well. So I thought of using "Cell Block Tango" which is a song and movie (Chicago) that I recommend. Thank again you guys :D**

**And thank you to BALTO1 for letting me use Natalya.**


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